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Joe Buckley's Journal
The Stresser/Floater Theory
posted by at 09:59 PM on September 03, 2008
I think the hardest I’ve ever laughed in my life was with Kirt Voreis. Kirt and I worked together when he was riding for the Specialized factory mountain bike team, and I was wrenching on his bikes. Kirt is probably the funniest guy I know. He always had funny stories to tell, as well as just random stuff that was funny enough to make you uncontrollably spit out whatever it was that you were eating/drinking at the moment. As with many pro mountain bike racers, Kirt had a lot of time to think as he sat on planes and in cars traveling to various events each year, so he was always coming up with different theories about life and people. It’s been around 8 years since we’ve worked together now, but the one theory of Kirt’s that I still remember, and refer to often is his Floater/Stresser theory.
Kirt would often refer to people as floaters or stressers depending on how they handled different situations in life. To put this into context, it’s important to understand what a floater and a stresser is. First, the floater. For those of you who have ever seen “The Big Lebowski”, the main character in the movie, AKA the Dude, is a fairly decent example of a floater. The Dude is someone who is super easy going, content to sit back and enjoy a White Russian cocktail as life kind of passes by. A floater does not generally make plans, as they generally just float through life, not worrying about the future, and sometimes not even the present. Floaters do not generally worry about things like getting to the airport in time for a flight, or even get concerned when they’re leaving town for a week long road trip with only $10 to their name. For Floaters, these things aren’t something to worry about, they’ll somehow take care of themselves. And hey, if they don’t work out, well, then it wasn’t meant to be anyway.
Stressers on the other hand, are always concerned about one thing or another. These are the people who actually make packing lists, get reservations, research travel destinations, and get to the airport early to make sure they are checked in with plenty of time to clear security. Stressers like to have schedules, and like to know what’s coming, both figuratively and literally. Surprises aren’t something that Stressers generally enjoy, unless it’s something like a thoughtful gift. If you’ve ever seen someone yelling at a ticket agent in an airport, that person was almost certainly a Stresser. As I write this, I’m flying to Frankfurt, where I’ll be transferring to a flight ending in Zurich. All the people traveling on this flight were issued boarding passes for the Zurich leg of the trip except me- I have to check in with Lufthansa when I get to Frankfurt to get a boarding pass. Because I’m a Stresser (and the fact that the last two trips through Frankfurt resulted in bad travel experiences), I’m worried about getting my boarding pass and actually making the next flight. In contrast, a floater would be more worried about where they might find a refreshing cocktail in Frankfurt International Airport before even thinking about trying to find the ticket counter and getting that boarding pass.
Now you know the basis of being either a Floater or Stresser, but there is much more to the theory than that. You see, there are varying degrees of Floaters and Stressers, and certain situations can actually turn a Stresser into a Floater. Imagine a scale going from negative 10 to positive 10, with 0 being the center of the scale. Let’s say +10 is the ultimate stresser, someone who is almost obsessive/compulsive, and constantly worrying. On the other side, at -10, you have the ultimate Floater, maybe an unemployed 35 year old who still lives at home and is waiting for opportunity to knock. And a perfectly balanced 0 would be someone who stresses on some details, probably enough to lead a normal, self sustained life, but at the same time, they don’t loose sleep over much, and enjoy lazy weekends.
And then there are certain situations that can change a Stresser into a floater. Probably the most common example of this would be group travel. Kirt was not the ultimate stresser, in fact he would normally be considered a solid floater back in those days, just taking everything in and trying to succeed at downhill racing. He did stress enough to make his flights when he was on his own though. When we traveled as a group on occasion back then, I would generally be in charge of getting us all to the airport on time, checking us in, and making sure everyone knew where to go. When this was the case, Kirt went into total floater mode, not caring about much of anything since he knew I’d be handling it. This often times happens when you take 2 Stressers, let’s say one is a level 8, and one is a level 6. Commonly, the level 8 Stresser will take charge, and the level 6 will happily accept this, knowing that things will be taken care of, and they can float right along for awhile. Of course, if you put two level 10 Stressers together, then you might have some issues, as neither might want to relinquish control, and you’d just have a lot of arguments.
Personally, I think the group ride is the perfect dynamic to establish who the Stresser is (not like they have to stress very hard, it is just a ride after all), and watch everyone else just kind of float along, enjoying the ride. We often do group mountain bike rides after work, and the question always comes up, so what do you guys want to ride next? Usually it’s a lot of “I don’t care” or “doesn’t matter to me”, and then one or two people end up choosing the trail we’ll ride.
Although I’m admittedly a stresser, I often think about the Floater/Stresser theory as kind of a way to stay grounded, and not become obsessive/compulsive about things in life. It’s also something I use when I’m getting to know someone, to evaluate whether this person is a Floater/Stresser. And I’m not sure if this is an absolute truth or not, but it seems like the funniest people I know tend to be total Floaters.
My buddy Alain is the perfect example of the comedic Floater. He likes to travel with us on riding trips, or go to races with us, but can barely take care of his equipment. At one race we attended, he was asking me for help fixing his bike, and I started asking him if he brought some different tools/parts with him so we could get it fixed, and to each question his reply was simply, “no”. Quickly I became frustrated, asking him “well what the hell did you bring with you?” since I felt like I was babysitting at that point. Alain’s perfect floater response was, “Hey man, you guys bring all the stuff, I bring comedy to the situation.” Which set me off laughing. Alain was just floating along, knowing we’d take care of him, and all he has to do is crack a few jokes so we don’t totally lose our patience. I guess that’s how he gets his nickname, the HAWK (Half Ass With Klass).
I’m sure you all know Stressors and Floaters in your life. Maybe you can help prove/disprove that floaters are generally more funny than Stressers? Leave a comment with an example of a funny Floater or Stresser you know.
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Comments (1)
09:26 PM on September 08, 2008 UTC Rachael Lambert wrote:
Hmmm....well this past weekend traveling with Marco and Wyatt (my co-workers) couldn't have been a more perfect example of the stresser and floater. I mean I think these boys are both a number 10 but at opposite ends of the spectrum! I would continually hear Marco shouting "not enough time to make the 2:41 ferry!" and trying to rile people up while Wyatt would go missing at a critical moment in search of a chilled beverage of some sort....because hey he was thirsty. I will definitely say the floaters provide the most comic relief as long as they aren't preventing you from making your flight/travel!